MarynaSmuts.com

Discovering my inner artist

– Posted in: My Journey

I’ve spent my whole life advertising to the world in general, that given a recipe, I can do anything.  But.  Don’t ask me to improvise or be creative.

Not so long ago, I discovered that wasn’t true.  I can be creative when I let go of the logical part of my brain that tends to be the boss of what happens in my life.  It happened at a retreat where I’d been through some pretty emotional personal realizations and my brain and body were just plain exhausted.

I was invited to use a sharpie to draw something that represented what was standing between me and my dream of implementing the business I’ve been working on for the past several months.  My logical brain told me that was obviously all my limiting beliefs about who I am and what exactly I can or can’t accomplish.  A picture popped into my mind of a jagged mess of rocks and I drew the outline with my sharpie and put it down.  Done!  No energy to think more about how appropriate or not, my image might be.

The next instruction, was to use the paints on the table next to me, to paint over that obstacle and transform it into what I wanted for myself.  My logical brain yawned and left.  I picked up the paint brush, dipped it in paint and started to play.  It was fun to brush little strokes of green over the jagged sharpie outline.  Then someone inside my heart whispered “color” and “flowers”.  I cleaned the brush in water, and with a silly smile on my face, started dabbing deep pink, yellow and purple on top of what was starting to look like a green shrub.

“Hmmm… I have no idea what this is, but it feels like a happy shrub with flowers that’s flying through the sky.  Let’s add some blue underneath to get that feeling.”  Still smiling, I put down my paint brush and waited for everyone else to finish.  I had no idea what it all meant, but I knew that it felt good and I’m learning to trust that “feel good” emotion.

I could have fallen off my chair when several of my retreat buddies commented on how beautiful it was.

“What!” my logical mind yelped. “You know less than nothing about art.  How can that be?”  I’d stumbled onto my inner artist and something popped out.

And that, friends, is how the logo for my site was born. Energy that came bubbling out when I stopped trying and allowed myself to play.  Every time I look at it, I’m reminded how my life can change when I stop listening to what I believe the world expects of me and allow what’s been hiding inside to come out.

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